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Wednesday 30 November 2011

Mark Twain





Samuel Langhorne Clemens (November 30, 1835 – April 21, 1910), better known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American author and humorist. He is most noted for his novels, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (1876), and its sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1885), the latter often called "the Great American Novel."

Twain grew up in Hannibal, Missouri, which would later provide the setting for Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer. He apprenticed with a printer. He also worked as a typesetter and contributed articles to his older brother Orion's newspaper. After toiling as a printer in various cities, he became a master riverboat pilot on the Mississippi River, before heading west to join Orion. He was a failure at gold mining, so he next turned to journalism. While a reporter, he wrote a humorous story, The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County, which became very popular and brought nationwide attention.






Twain was born during a visit by Halley's Comet, and he predicted that he would "go out with it" as well. He died the day following the comet's subsequent return.

Wednesday 23 November 2011

Thanksgiving Jokes





Spot the Big TurkeyA lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked the stock boy, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
The stock boy answered, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'

Big Turkeys and Little TurkeysIf a big turkey is called a gobbler, what do you call a little turkey.
A goblet.

Hanging the TurkeyYoung Simon was sitting in his grandmother's kitchen, watching her prepare the Thanksgiving meal.
'What are you doing?' Simon enquired.
'Oh, I'm just stuffing the turkey,' his grandmother replied.
'Wow, that's cool.' Simon remarked. 'Are you going to hang it next to the deer?'



The Secret of Stuffing a TurkeyHow many cooks does it take to stuff a turkey? Only one, but you REALLY have to squeeze to get him in.

Grave HumorWhat did the hen tell the naughty chicks? If you your father could see you now he would turn in his gravy.




The Man Who Forgot to Buy a Turkey for Thanksgiving


It's the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door.
'Please let me in, 'says the man desperately. 'I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don't come home with one.'
'Okay, 'says the butcher.' Let me see what I have left.' He goes into the freezer and discovers that there's one last scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man.
'That's one is too skinny. What else you got?' says the man.
The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes and brings the same turkey back out to the man.
'Oh, no, 'says the man, 'That one doesn't look any better. You better give me both of them!'

Saturday 12 November 2011

Trick or Treat in USA



By Elisabete Carvalho

Saturday 5 November 2011

Spiderweb trees

Here’s a delightful morning snack: When Pakistan experienced severe flooding last year, it had the unexpected and rather creepy-crawly side effect of driving millions upon millions of spiders to the trees, where they could escape the floodwater. Since the flooding lasted for such a long time, many trees became blanketed in thick layers of web.

But according to the UK government, which assisted in the flood release effort this may have actually had a positive health effect: On-the-ground reports suggest that there are fewer mosquitos than would have been expected after the influx of so much stagnant water. This, in turn, may have reduced the very real risk of malaria to local populations afflicted with flooding. The web-coated trees, however, remain scary-looking.


(in http://www.geekosystem.com/spiderweb-trees-pakistan/ )